If herding cats is still a thing, then that describes our group when we get together and walk. Well intentioned, we begin at the same point, but we do not herd well. In fact, it is a stretch to even call us a group. There are three different images that come to me, other than cats, when I think of how our BBRR walkers walk:
- ants scurrying back and forth, exchanging information through antennas
- attention-seeking traffic cones that get moved by inches here and there when bumped
- tater tots thrown on the same plate but secretly wanting to be dipped into ketchup
Of those three, I prefer the tater tots. I say that because those of us walking were all teachers at some point and can relate to tots, if not taters. Secondly, I think a bowl of them would be nice to munch on while we walk. I mean, who doesn’t like tater tots?
So, I want to make a little offer. Or you could call it a teaser. I will give anyone ten dollars in our group if they show up with at least three tater tots, and a package of ketchup. It could be a bottle of ketchup, but that may be overkill. We don’t want to overwhelm the three little taters. I know, I know I may be guilty of blog tampering here, as I am basically bribing readers to engage in my BBRR Club blog. And by the way I like my tater tots hot. Cold tater tots are basically little grease balls, and that begins to sound vaguely like they have slicked back hair and a cigarette barely hanging out of their mouths. I’m not eating any food with hair on it, so that subject is closed. And the last time I saw a cigarette and a tater tot hanging out together was in a greasy spoon truck stop in Iowa on I-80, and that subject is now closed also.
There are two other benefits to arriving with my (hot) tater tots at our next walk:
- We can give them to the little gnomes that live outside an incredible hand-built elf house built right into a tree. True story. We found them on our walk at a house along the path our group took this month. The gnomes looked hungry and were begging for some dwarf food as we strolled by their garden. Kind of pitiful, but let’s face it, there are hungry gnomes everywhere, and it has been proven that they get really juiced when they eat taters.
- Tater tots are the second favorite food of cicada-killer wasps. Cicadas, mistakenly called locusts, were an integral part of the conversation this June BBRR club walk. (There may be a shortage of cicadas this year, which means we will be able to hear each other’s conversations as we sit outside in our lawn chairs this July, sipping something long and cold). These killer wasps are large bumble bee-looking bombers that use the cicada carcasses as food fodder for the eggs they lay inside. Not dinner conversation mind you, but you can YouTube it and get the full story.
Or not. You could just show up next walk, July 1, with three hot tater tots and collect your ten spot. Offer good until blog supplies last. Some exceptions may apply. Side effects include headache, fever, nausea, blurred vision, constipation, toe jam, insomnia, and general malaise.