The process of finding Jesus as an adult is fraught with obstacles like busy schedules, egos, and worldly distractions. There are days I wonder whether I am walking the path, but I keep praying that my days will be fruitful. Talking about my faith around some people makes me nervous, as if the subject might bring up our differences and make us more divisive. In that conversation where you and I may not agree, I try to picture Jesus, relaxed but alert, standing back and smiling while we talk. He is ok with us disagreeing, but never ok with meanness or lies.
I have a feeling he was not as keen about Arthur’s pants being removed during a church sermon in my last episode. Arthur got too hot as you recall, having worn too many layers of clothing to church, and was stripping down while his grandfather dozed off. (History has not been kind to a few Bible characters who fell asleep when the Lord ask them to stay awake, but that’s another story).
There are any number of problems with this Arthur’s situation. Even if Arthur’s pants would have come off easily, which they didn’t, a church sanctuary is a holy place. An offbeat noise is expected now and then during church – someone drops their sunglasses, or has a coughing spell, that kind of thing. But it was going to be hard to get the holiness back as Arthur’s pant legs got stuck on his shoes initiating one of the greatest wardrobe malfunctions in history.
One could say this kind of jam is exactly what God uses to build our trust and help us make those spiritual leaps of faith. Leaping, however, wouldn’t have been in Arthur’s best interest under the circumstances, because G’pa suddenly came out of his winter hibernation to witness his grandson in a wrestling match with his pants… the pants carrying the upper hand so to speak.
With part of his brain still in deep REM, G’pa, the responsible adult here, blurted out a loud, non-denominational statement that coincided with a Bible verse being shown on the screen overhead from Colossians 3:8:
“But now, you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips.”
Then, he grabbed his grandson by one of four pantlegs available and tackled Arthur to the floor to avoid detection, which created the maximum amount of detection possible during a sermon. Undeterred, Arthur took this to mean his G’pa wanted to wrestle and began a full-on tickling match where G’pa’s shoes were flung off to get to those particularly sensitive spots.
Can I just stop here and ask you, my reading audience, if there is anything about tickling an older person that sound like a good idea? To me, it sounds more like a felony. Even with someone younger, tickling will probably end with a light slap or curt rejection, but an oldster? I’m just saying.
Massachusetts Mutual advertisement, Norman Rockwell
Of course, quite a bit of attention had been drawn to the tickling skirmish, but there was nothing anyone could really do but look straight ahead with extra concentration. Eventually, Arthur and his grandfather sat upright in the pew, both fully clothed. I did note the offertory plate skipped their row that Sunday. I’m guessing the ushers did not want to confuse it with another church activity, the Annual Clothing Drive, where G’pa’s socks or Arthur’s pj’s risked being collected by mistake.
Thinking back, I can’t remember ever seeing a congregation leave a church so relieved, and happy. No one was laughing, but a lot of people couldn’t wait to get to their cars so they could laugh. Somewhere between the pious and the pj’s, Arthur had lost his pants, but everyone else had peeled off one of their heavy layers also.